In his book Victorious Grief, Dr. Charles Browning gives a step-by-step lifeline to those who struggle with grieving when they lose a beloved and believing loved one. He says there are two kinds of grieving—Backward Grieving and Forward Grieving, and he gives examples of both kinds of grief.

Backward Grieving, he says, includes, among other negative characteristics:  shock, numbness, depression, crushing loneliness, regrets, loss of the will to live, mad at God, mad at their loved one for leaving, feeling abandoned, hate getting up in the morning, God seems a million miles away, asking why did this happen to me? how can I go on? life is terrible.[1]

On the other hand, if you choose Forward Grieving, says Dr. Browning, this is how you will talk to God about the loss of your loved one:

Lord, You never make any mistakes, and You never will.

My loved one no longer has to deal with the cares of this life.

My loved one is finally free of all pain and suffering.

No more anxiety, depression, fears or worries, or losses.

No need to pray—now my loved one is face to face with Jesus.

He or she is enjoying non-stop peace, contentment and freedom

In Heaven with all our loved ones who went before.[2]

Although all of us probably will go through some of the stages of Backward Grieving, we don’t have to stay stuck in that kind of grief. We can choose to fill our minds with the joys our loved one is experiencing. We can find peace looking forward to that day we will be together again for all eternity.

[1] Charles H. Browning, Ph.D., Victorious Grief (Colorado Springs: Th Armor of Truth Press, 2022, 43.

[2] Ibid., 48.