With their words, the godless destroy their friends. Proverbs 11:9

 

Anthony’s mother constantly belittles, criticizes, and ridicules him. When she’s really angry, she slaps him across the face or punches him.

What Anthony dreads most are the names his mother calls him. Worthless. Unwanted. Scum. He can hear them tearing down his very soul. The Proverbs of scripture say, “With their words, the godless destroy” (Proverbs 11:9). This refers not to a single statement, but to a relationship that’s defined by one person tearing the other person down day after day.

This is not the love and respect the Bible calls us to (John 13:34, Romans 12:9-21, Ephesians 5:33)! The Bible acknowledges that we all make many mistakes (James 3:2), but abusive relationships are characterized by these behaviors in constant and often escalating patterns. There’s no ownership, repentance, or change.

If you’re in a controlling or threatening relationship, it’s important to know that God doesn’t approve or turn a blind eye to how you’re being treated. “For God watches how people live;” the Bible says, “he sees everything they do. No darkness is thick enough to hide the wicked from his eyes. (Job 34:21-22 NLT) God is a God of unfailing love, kindness, and justice (Jeremiah 9:24) who finds violence against the oppressed detestable (Psalm 11, 56).

The Bible calls us to “Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them” (Ephesians 5:11). God calls all to turn from the sin of abuse (Luke 5:32), and He fights on behalf of the downtrodden! If you’re in an abusive relationship, you can find help and support from professionals and loved ones. There is never a biblical excuse for abuse.